Hum to aise hai bhaiya

On Navami (the day before Dusherra), I decided to brave CR Park for a dekko at the puja pandals. To tell you the truth, I was actually eyeing a scrumptious dinner at Babu Moshai, but you can't just make random dinner plans on Navami + I also needed an excuse as to why I was wearing what suspiciously looked like a bedsheet ( I do acknowledge that my maiden attempt at draping the five yards was a supreme failure). So off we went for the pujas' and then follows an obstacle course that closely resembles a simulated computer game.

Obstacle 1: Traffic. On Navami, the Bongs come out to play and then you finally realise just how many Chatterjis and Senguptas are hiding in the nook and crannies of Delhi.

Obstacle 2: Autowalla has a field day. Fleeces you and drops you right on the main road. His suggestion: "Madamji, jab main road pe chorne-chorne ke liye 70-80 rupaiye mil raha hai to CR Park ki traffic main kyu phase?" The man had a point.

Obstacle 3: Its Disco '82 out there. Every square inch of the good ladies attire is choc-a-block with chamak dhamak. Embroidered jeans, polyester kurta pyjamas, silver shirt with silver tie, all you could catch them all right here.

Obstacle 4: The cow has the right to watch the pujas too. Last heard India is a democratic country with all animal, plants and humans entitled to equal joy and suffering.

Obstacle 5: Watch your step! This sign was missing, but the message was the same. Unless you were careful, you could inadvertently step on one of the following - fresh cow dung, dog poo, chowmein, used ghugni plates, egg shells, et all.

Obstacle 6: Serpentine queues. To give the committee people their due, they did demarcate separate entry lines for gents, ladies and residential pass holders. What they don't understand is we Indians show a spectacular talent for indiscipline which is aggravated when we gather together in crowds. So no amount of instructions could stop Gents from breaking into Ladies lines.

Obstacle 7: No seating available @ Babu Moshai, minimum 1 hour waiting time advised the doorman. To add insult to injury, I heard someone order Butter roti and chicken (God bless the soul who has the guts to try typical Punju food in a typical Bengali restaurant).

Obstacle 8: Ordering a Meru cab to go home. By home, I mean a distance of 6 measly kilometers (Talk about the official atyachar of autowallas in Delhi).

During this entire sojourn, I must have walked a minimum of 12 kms. Must have burned at least 600 calories I tell you. Oh BTW....bought balloons too, monkey shaped ones at that.


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